“When a person is cautious in speech, he becomes gentle, mild, and modest. For when he controls his tongue and does not speak until he has examined, weighed, and considered his words, whether they should be said and to whom, he is indeed practicing modesty, gentleness, and patience.” (Saint Ambrose of Milan)
Avoiding missteps in speech and thus in one’s words is no easy task.
“For we all make many mistakes, and if any one makes no mistakes in what he says he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body also.” (James 3:2) Thus, Sacred Scripture reminds us and uses even stronger words to illustrate the danger of misusing language. “The tongue is a fire. The tongue is an unrighteous world among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature, and set on fire by hell.” (James 3:6)
Saint Ambrose of Milan shows us the right path by teaching us to speak with caution. We cannot say whatever comes to mind, especially if it is fueled by unresolved emotions or a disorderly urge to speak. This is sometimes mistaken for honesty. Instead, we must carefully choose our words. The same saint expresses this idea in another passage: “The wise person first reflects deeply before speaking: what to say, to whom, where, and when. Thus, there is moderation, both in silence and in speech.”
If we take this to heart, our speech, imbued with our Father’s love, can become echoes of His goodness and clarity. We will then increasingly succeed in putting the words of the Letter to the Colossians into practice: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer every one.” (Col. 4:6)