166th Meditation
“My light drives away all darkness, to the point that it pains you to have had even the slightest wrong thought” (Interior Word).
God is light and there is no shadow in Him (1Jn 1:5). Our Father is love (1Jn 4:8b). When love is poured into our hearts and we allow ourselves to be moved by it, nothing can stand in the way of this love. This is how the purification of the heart takes place.
Our soul, washed and made white with the blood of the Lamb (Rev 7:14), rises to its true grandeur and beauty. It exults in God and, at the same time, begins to suffer under itself. But it is a healthy and valuable suffering, because the soul, wounded by the love of God, no longer wants to be dragged down by its disordered desires, neither on the sensual nor on the spiritual level. It is, then, suffering for love.
The soul wants nothing more than to please its Father in everything, and groans under the evil inclinations it has not yet been able to overcome. It becomes so sensitive that even every inappropriate thought causes it real spiritual pain.
But again and again the love of the Lord lifts it up and comforts it. The soul knows that the Lord is pleased with its longing to receive a new heart. It knows that God sees all its efforts and understands that it is suffering for love. Thus, neither bitterness nor despair arises within the soul, but rather a longing to love more, to love as the Lord Himself loves. The soul also understands that it is the Lord who brings about this transformation. It understands that it must first suffer under its own evil heart, and then plead on its knees for a new heart.
The awareness of our inclination to evil makes our souls vigilant and thus we put aside all frivolity. We give thanks to the Lord because He shows us His goodness by purifying us to the very depths and thus preparing us for eternity. In view of our own weakness, we thank Him for His infinite mercy, which we experience again and again on our journey. Our souls perceive that the Father wants to bring about the victory of love, and we sit at His feet to listen attentively to Him (cf. Lk 10:39).